Induction, the first brush with corporate culture. The first thing that I was taught here was to address everyone with their names. No "Sir!" says the good looking HR woman. The first time you call some one "Harini" or "Bharani" or what ever it sounds shallow and artificial. But still you stick to it and try to make it sound casual. These days, I append a fair amount of abuse before the name and call the name loud and clear. Some thing like "Hey (you pot bellied rotund dick head) Srini!" Believe me, I derive immense pleasure and satisfaction in doing this. This in fact removed the shallowness and doubled my pleasure in calling people names literally....
Two things I bet will never fail to register in the minds of the first timers. One the amount of bullshit the HR can package in a 3 hour session and two, the utter purposelessness of the induction. Many a times I wanted to squeeze the fat out of these trying-to-look-modern HR bimbos, but backed out in the last minute. There is some hope for entertainment in the form of shaking hands or playing some silly brainless games with a beau whose only merit seems to be her beauty. I very much look forward to this entertainment and my perseverance was handsomely rewarded quiet a few times.
Inductions are a charade only the HR enjoy conducting. Hours and hours of bullshit about the company, the founders, their fathers, their wives, their concubines... followed by hundreds of slides to make you aware of those idiotic HR policies which I am sure one will repent for not knowing only when he leaves the company.
Two things I bet will never fail to register in the minds of the first timers. One the amount of bullshit the HR can package in a 3 hour session and two, the utter purposelessness of the induction. Many a times I wanted to squeeze the fat out of these trying-to-look-modern HR bimbos, but backed out in the last minute. There is some hope for entertainment in the form of shaking hands or playing some silly brainless games with a beau whose only merit seems to be her beauty. I very much look forward to this entertainment and my perseverance was handsomely rewarded quiet a few times.
Inductions are a charade only the HR enjoy conducting. Hours and hours of bullshit about the company, the founders, their fathers, their wives, their concubines... followed by hundreds of slides to make you aware of those idiotic HR policies which I am sure one will repent for not knowing only when he leaves the company.
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