I gave the Cat exam this year and the results were miserable. Why? What happened? Alas that is an enigma. What stumps me is the verbal score. The score seems to mock at my fundamental belief that I am good at English. Every thing apart, I wonder how the Cat key was worked out. After coming home from the exam, after seeing the key posted by different institutes, I was on cloud 9. When almost all of them seem to be incapable of scoring 10 marks, I score a mighty 25. But Alas! The key that the celebrated faculty from famous institutes bought out, the key for 25 questions that 6 stalwars worked out for no less that 12 hours , the key that they declared would have only minor deviations proved wrong. How condescending was I in those elated albeit ephemeral times, how haughty was my attitude. Alas! It ended in a catastrophe. The results shook my very roots to submission. May be it serves me right!
After nearly a month after the results have come, I find myself at the cross roads again. The pressing financial demands, the feeling of nothingness, fear of ending up as nothing not to mention remarks like "I told you to go to US and get some degree!" made by people around are all closing in. Thoughts like "Do you really deserve it?" Are clouding my mind. Things seem pretty glum right now. I know the chronology of events. Failure, dejection, discontentedly in status quo, loss of interest, a feeling of alienation, a feeling of I am not capable of it, a feeling of may be the rest all were right after all, let me run away from it and see, May be life has more to offer, why not take others advise, preparation for gracefully exit, and then the final exodus. The stage seems set for defeat.
At present I am sailing in between loosing interest in work and surroundings.
But do I surrender is the question. After all what I am doing is putting my money in search of a future. Not wrong isnt it? Its a different thing that my parents at that age expect me to pitch in but I am convinced it is not the case with my people. After all doesn't real failure mean giving up? But people say, you should know when to give up. Is it time/high time to give up? I am after the title of my blog. Fall seven, stand up eight. Right now, as my friend once said "Just let the dust settle!"
After nearly a month after the results have come, I find myself at the cross roads again. The pressing financial demands, the feeling of nothingness, fear of ending up as nothing not to mention remarks like "I told you to go to US and get some degree!" made by people around are all closing in. Thoughts like "Do you really deserve it?" Are clouding my mind. Things seem pretty glum right now. I know the chronology of events. Failure, dejection, discontentedly in status quo, loss of interest, a feeling of alienation, a feeling of I am not capable of it, a feeling of may be the rest all were right after all, let me run away from it and see, May be life has more to offer, why not take others advise, preparation for gracefully exit, and then the final exodus. The stage seems set for defeat.
At present I am sailing in between loosing interest in work and surroundings.
But do I surrender is the question. After all what I am doing is putting my money in search of a future. Not wrong isnt it? Its a different thing that my parents at that age expect me to pitch in but I am convinced it is not the case with my people. After all doesn't real failure mean giving up? But people say, you should know when to give up. Is it time/high time to give up? I am after the title of my blog. Fall seven, stand up eight. Right now, as my friend once said "Just let the dust settle!"
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