I am sitting in the library and wondering what have I done so far....
To take stock of the situation, its been 3 months that I joined this truly wonderful course. God bless SPJain, its pedagogy and values! Let begin.
Am I taking advantage of the statement "Life is not about feeling guilty"? Have my habits become loose and malleable? Or do I stick to something? Are my thoughts too methodical and robotic with fixed routines, morals carved in stone and thus devoid of creativity and innovation? Am I being predictable and thus gullible?
What exactly am I up to? Has anything changed? Am I like the snail that climbs 3 inches a day and slips 3 by the evening? Lets see. I am trying to inculcate two things with religious fervor. Exercise and prayer. What is their impact? Looks like there is some improvement in my levels of concentration. Thoughts don't fly past me as they used to. They now wait for a moment on my shoulder before they fly off and importantly( and happily!), return. But wait. Is it because I now have more time to contemplate rather than because my span of attention has increased?
What motivates me? Taking it a bit further, does motivation work for me? Am I getting aware of the thought that all motivation is harmone manipulation? Or was I already aware of it? More fundamentally, should work come out of motivation or out of duty boundedness? If you take it as a sense of duty, then there will be no emotional connect. But unfortunately that is where I derive my strenghts from. Emotions. If I take this route, it means working against my strenghts. Isn't it? So what is to be done? Motivation or Duty? Which route? Or is there a third route that I am not aware of?
What are the tangibles that I aim to take away in this one year? Is there any progresses on that front? There were attempts and some consolidation. But will it every become tangible? Or are am I just swimming on your stomach?
There are tons of questions. But the happy part is that, I am raising them. Answers will come only by perseverance. I have answer only to one question.
Am I taking advantage of the statement "Life is not about feeling guilty"? Have my habits become loose and malleable? Or do I stick to something? Are my thoughts too methodical and robotic with fixed routines, morals carved in stone and thus devoid of creativity and innovation? Am I being predictable and thus gullible?
What exactly am I up to? Has anything changed? Am I like the snail that climbs 3 inches a day and slips 3 by the evening? Lets see. I am trying to inculcate two things with religious fervor. Exercise and prayer. What is their impact? Looks like there is some improvement in my levels of concentration. Thoughts don't fly past me as they used to. They now wait for a moment on my shoulder before they fly off and importantly( and happily!), return. But wait. Is it because I now have more time to contemplate rather than because my span of attention has increased?
What motivates me? Taking it a bit further, does motivation work for me? Am I getting aware of the thought that all motivation is harmone manipulation? Or was I already aware of it? More fundamentally, should work come out of motivation or out of duty boundedness? If you take it as a sense of duty, then there will be no emotional connect. But unfortunately that is where I derive my strenghts from. Emotions. If I take this route, it means working against my strenghts. Isn't it? So what is to be done? Motivation or Duty? Which route? Or is there a third route that I am not aware of?
What are the tangibles that I aim to take away in this one year? Is there any progresses on that front? There were attempts and some consolidation. But will it every become tangible? Or are am I just swimming on your stomach?
There are tons of questions. But the happy part is that, I am raising them. Answers will come only by perseverance. I have answer only to one question.
Am I happy? Truly YES!
Comments